Jungle girl

so i really wanted to start this blog with pictures from this great jungle but living in a jungle or i should say the bush of Belize has internet down falls such as it being sooo slow and that it wont allow me to upload pictures....but praise the Lord i have internet! So bare with me lol. just use your imaginations, i would say close your eyes and image but then you wouldnt be able to read this...so just image as you read. imagine bugs flying around your face and sweats dripping down your forhead....hahah actuely it has been quit cold here ( praise the Lord) but do image the sounds of the jungle that are never quiet. bugs and trees yes i am officaly a jungle girl, or so my amazing mom calls me in her e-mails lol. either way i do live in the jungle or what they call out here the 'bush'. i live on a large amount of acres of land, that are encircled with more trees then will allow you to see straight through them. i live at a camp like facility which has girls and boys dorms, diunning hall, kitchen, basketball couart, craft shed, chapel, futball flied and guest houses. we run a desciplship and drug rehab typ progam for anyone around the world. we have classes for our students all based on the Bible, the students also participate in work projects and community living here. The Lord is our establisher and we rely on His quidence every day. as a straff member here i am charge of the first aide and any medical training. I also am the woman's dorm mother which at the moment i have two girls who are learning who God has created them to be and what He has for them. I have been serving here sense last july and plan to stay as long as God says too. walking by faith is deffinately somehting i am learning each and every day but He is always faithful. "He never fails." - zepheniah 3:6 He has proven His faithfulness each and ever day that i have been here and He continues to. Coming here was a big step for me but one i do not regret. He is continuely restoring me and deffinately reclaining me as His child. Prasie the Lord for His love and mercy! i hope to be bloging more and giving you up dates on what the Lord is doing in my life and our studants and staff's lives...pictures well not sure the internet will allow me to but we will see. thanks for all your love and prayers...i miss you all-Jungle Girl

Charge-shock-Change

The two ems workers had been partners for about five months, and had become close friends through it. they had shared many calls together good and bad. That afternoon, they were posted on one of the many random street corners that thier company covered. The two were engaged in conversation, laughing as they usely did when the 911 call was dispatched. She quickly grabebd the map book to find the location of the call as he geared the engine into drive and turned the orange amber lights on. she told him how to get to the call and then threw the map book back onto the ambulance dashboard. The 911 call was for chest pain. a typ of call that she had responded to many times in her first five months as a brand new paramedic.
With in a few minutes the two were approuching the street, they saw the fire engine parked by a dirt lot and the three firemen huddled around a man sitting on a random cemet block. From what she could see as they parked. The man was middle aged and he was slupted over clutching his chest. The fire depot had the patient on thier cardiac moniter. One fireman was starting an iv, one was getting the patients blood pressure while the captian was asking questions to the responsive patient.
The two jumped from thier ambulance and pulled out thier gurney. As they approuched the four men they saw the patient all of a sudden go completely unresponsive and start to fall over. The fire medic caught the patient as they two wheeled their gurney over quickly to load him. She turned to the fire medic and asked him what he got so far as they placed the gurney seat belts on the patient and lifted the gurney. The fire medic informed her that the patient had been complaining of chest pain and that the collapse ca,e with out signs. They quickly loaded the patient and jumped in. She yelled to her emt partner to head code three to their closest hospital. Within seconds the two fire medics and her felt the gurking of the unit and heard the familiar sirens. The fire captian sat in the jump seat above the patient's head and was bagging the patient, who at this point has stopped breathing. The fire medic sat in the bend and began re-establishing his iv.
'he isnt breathimg" the captian yelled.
'What do we have on the moniter." she asked as she read justed its screne. the normal cardiac rythm was replaced with a rapid heart beat. ( ventricular tachycardia) she reached down and felt his rapid pulse. With sweat from the heat of the dat rolling hown her forehead she truned to the fire medic and stated.
"V-tach with pulsess, dude we got to cardiover him." the fire medic took a quick look at the moniter.
"right." he said as he reached over and adjusted the moniter. She quickly pulled out the defib pads and stuck them on the patient's chest.
"All you after you clear us." he told her.
"Okay, clearing, you guys all clear? Here we go." she yelled.
"clear!" came the response of the two firefighters. She reached out and pressed the charge buttom. the sound of the power charging up sounded like a bomb about to expload. It reached its full charge point and started alarming.
"Clear, we all clear?" she yelled again.
"Clear!" they all moved as far away from the gruney as they could in the small ambulance.
She reached a pressed the shock bottun.

cardioversion: is a bolt of electricity that camptures a rapid heart beat and shocks it. Its goal is to stop the rapid beating with electricity and re-start the heart

The patient few up a few inches from the gurney.
patient: went from not breathing, completely unresponsive, rapid heart rate to sitting up and yelling "where am I? where am I?"

The fire medic turned to look at the five month paramedic and said, "I think we just saved his life." the paramedic's mouth went from wide open to a smile of hope. "ya i think we did." the two stared at each other for a second before doing a victory statement through a high five. They felt the ambulance come to a stop in the ER bay. The emt opened the back doors to to stare at his partner.
"Good job." he yelled with a smile. With in a few minutes the patient was in a hopsital bed surrounded by a doctor and many nurses.
The two paramedics talked as they did their paerpwork side by side. They laughed as they leaned on the counter and cheered as they told the story to those around them. This call would be the begining of a close , trustful working relationship between the new medic and the emperinced firefighter. Before he left to two of them walked over to the patient who stated that he did not remember anything that happend and asked who they were. The firefighter paramedic informed him of everything.
"So you two saved my life?"
"Yeah looks liek it."
"Thank you two so much." after hand shakes all around the fire medic turned to her, "See ya on the next one." he said with a wink.
"Of coarse." she said back with a smile. She walked back over to the counter and finished the last of her paperwork. She took a glace back at the middle aged man who now sat comformtably in the bed watching the busy ER. He was alive, only by a shock of electricity that touched His heart.

What do you let touch your heart? who do you let touch your heart? I heard a man once say "That God is the only one who we are supposed to let touch our hearts." see we were all created with a void in our hearts that only God can fullfill. yes God created us to have relationships with other: human contact. But he is the founder of relationship and the only one that can fill that void in our hearts. He is like a cardiac moniter, captureing your every heart beat in His heart, and when he sees your heart beating unsafely fast, sees you on the road to enternal death He desires to reach out and touch you; shock you with electriciy and re-start your heart anew.
If you have never felt God's touch dont wait too late, cause choosing weather you want God to cardovert your heart or not will be choosing between death and eternal life. Let Him restart your heart for Him while you are living and re-start your heart for eternal life with Him, where there is no death.

"My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." - paslm 73:26

I remember leaving that ER and thinking to myself 'I actuely saved that man's life.' I will never forget that call, seeing someone on the brink of death and living after a bolt of elctricity....let God cardovert your heart and change your life forever...may your heart beat to the rythm of His....

blood, sweat, tears and loss

the call came out as a bike down. she has heard this typ of call go out plently of times but now she was the one that sat in the paramedic seat, she was the one who had to be incharge, whom the liability fell on..nerviousness raced through her heart. This being only her fifth call as a brand new paramedic, this 24 year old's heart pounded to the rythm of the sirens. she grabbed the map book and directed her second day emt partner in. The two raced throught the busy city. With the hour late, the sun had already fallen. The ambulances amber lights danced off of the buildings with beautiful colores.
as they pulled up to the scene the fire department was already on assessing. The captian waved us into the choas of fire engines, police cars and scared bystanders. her partner rolled his window down to talk to the captian.
"This one is dead, if ya have a blanket i can cover him with, that would be great. The other one over there with my medic will be transported." he directed us. The sight of the dead victom made her heart skip a beat. A young teenager laying on the pavement with his head snapped the other way, obvious signs of death. The two pulled thier ambulance closer to the other victim. she directed her emt partnern to get a blanket for the captian as she pulled her glooves on. she grabbed a back board from the back of her ambulance and joined the fire department on the pavement.
There layed a young kid, later he was found to be the age of 15. The boy was combative yelling and screaming in his altered state. The fire department was trying to calm him down. she placed the board next to the kid and looked into the eyes of the older medic onscene. He was holding the boys head still, he looked up into her nervious eyes with urgences and gave his quik report.
"young kid was riding his bike with the other one," he gestured with a knod to the young boy who was being covered with a blanket. "Sounds like they both got hit by another car. rate of speed approx 30-40 mph. his scull is pretty cracked and he has a hole in the back of his head, I can feel his brain." she reached over and palpated the rest of his body, all the other bones were stable. They loeaded him on the backboard and with the help of her partner and the fire dpartment they starpped him down and placed him in the back of the ambulance. in no time they were going lights and sirens to the closest pediatric trauma center.
The young kid fought the whole way. screaming and shouting out in his altered mentation. The older fire paramedic rode in with her and together they assessed and treated. as she held one of his arms down so the fire medic could get iv accesst, she started down at the young kid, he yelled as blood spilled here and there form the back of his head. after they secured the iv access the fire medic looked up at the young girl.
"You new? never seen you out her before?" she looked back at him with an expressions of hope.
"I have been with with company for a few years. but brand new paramedic, its my second shift today..that shows i bet." she admitted. He looked back at her with a smile of encouragement.
"really? for your second shift you are doing ana amazing job. i am impressed."
"thank you." came her reply as they pulled into the trauma center. with in minutes the crew unloaded the fighting patient, took him in, handed him over after a report and walked to the break room to do paperwork. Her partner caught her before she walked into the room .
'you okay?" he asked in a senser tone.
"ya."
"he is gonna have alot of brain damage isnt he?"
"ya..it happends..you know, " she said. "after this call i think we are officialy partners." she said giving him a punch in the arm and a comfortable smile. They next 40 minutes were taken up with decon of the ambulance, paperwork, answering quetions form the doctors, and chatting about the call. before the fire medic departed he looked at the new medic.
"Good job, keep it up... you will be fine out there."
"thnak you." she said as he walked form the break room.

That call started a series of a strong partnership and friedship with her emt partner, a strong friendship and repect between her and the fire crew she ran with, a strong repore with the hospital staff, and tough skin to face the rest of her career. She took a deep breath as she finished her paperwork.
The words from the experienced fire parameidc stuck in her mind, encouraged her and reminded her once agian that God had called her to this and that He was in control.

thank you Lord for all your strength and endurance as i step out and follow you!! be with my mind, my heart, my skills, my hands as i continue to help those in need and offer an empathetic heart. when times get hard may i be reminded of your faithfulness, grace, love, and hope for all humanity.

it has almost been a year since i ran that call, but i will never forget it!

Life is too short not to trust God, too short not to surrender to Him and allow Him to lead your life, cause if you dont you are gonna miss life all together

life is full of blood, sweat, tears and loss; but throught that comes redemption, accomplishment, joy and hope...

"For You are my hope, O Lord God, You are the trust from my youth." -psalm 71:5

2010 gone but not forgotten

2010: learned how to be a paramedic on my own
worked with am amazing emt for my first couple of months
learned how to teach other emts
gained new friends and work buddies
gained a new best friend
moved out on my own
had a pediatic full arest save
took a road trip and and hit eight states in that process
was a bridemaid for a close friend
had a unresponsive,apnec, vt with pulses come back after cardioversion
amazing trip to belize
tougth three emt skill classes
Dancing!!
found out my sister-in law was preganant
first time to vagus
got to work with many emts
found out my sister in pregnant
a thanksgiving full of family and friends at the main
got a close friend as my permanent emt partner
spend three days with my best friend from georgia
on my 25th birthday caught a STEMI that i deverted to LLUMC
christmas with my family and friends!!
NYE: 15 calls but enjoyed seeing all mybuddies form work and at the hosptals

Jan 1, 2011: sitting in my warm bed drinking an orange wheat

Prasie the Lord for His MANY blessings this year!!!!! Lord may this next year be full of blessing, fun, adventure, tears, sweat, blood..may it be full of life and may we not forget the reason, the value and the importance of life!!!

"trust in Him" psalm 37:5

i love ya Lord!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!!!

a secret weapon

She had been studing hard and long! Days and days ever sense she recieved her testing date. Another from her class had gone before her and had made it..the hope of that same occomplishment nugged her heart that it was possible to do. She also had a secret weapon...
This secret had never failed her before, never let her down, and always worked toward the best for her. Everyone before her had had tricks, extra study guides, great study books that she did not posses at the moment but she decided to to bring her abilities, her knowledge, her passion for it and her secret weapon to the table. She locked her car up and with anxiouness and fear tugging on her stomache she walked to the front door. A tall brown haired young man was a few steps infront of her and walked through first. He was dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt. A sigh of relief fell on her as she was glad she wasn't the only one not dressed up. Her atire consisted of jeans, a checkard tank-top and a black sweatshirt. She follow the handsome man in and met him at the elivator. He walked in and she followed.
"third floor?' he asked eyeing my paper that i desperatly clutched.
"National registry?" i confirmed.
"Yup." he said pushing the buttom with a three printed on it. "What level?" he asked eyeing my paper again.
"Paramedic." i said witha sigh of tiredness. "you?"
"Emt." he answered nerviously
"I am just so ready to be done." i sighned. He agreeed witha knod. The elivator doors opened and we both disembarked.
"Where now?" i asked unsure of my barring.
"To the right." he pointed. I knew i was early so i decided to take a few last deep breaths in the bathroom. "good luck, i will see ya in there." i said turning to the bathroom.
"You too." was the last word i heard the handsome young man say. After i had left the bathroom i made my way through the glass doors. The next coupld of minutes were given over to rule astablishment , pictures taken, ids copied, and finger printed. I was then gieven a locker to keep my exceptence letter, keys, watch and bracelet in. I was told that if i walked into the testing room wearing my sweatshirt i would have to keep it on the whole time. Soon my name was called and i walked to the back where i was told of more rules and finger printed again. I was then told that i would be filmed during the whole test. After my id was checked again the door infront of me opened. I peared in to see many testing stations. I noticed students of all ages and was excited to see my handsome man at a near by testing station.
"ready?" the lady asked me. with a knod of my head i was escorted to a station. And with a word of "good luck" the lady left me and i faced the computer before me and clicked on the begin button.
The next two hours where full of cardiac rythm identification, drug caculations, trauma triage, MCI protocols, basic and advanced life support and wacked sanarios....i had no idea if i was gonna make it through...i heavly relied on my last year of classroom learning, my four and a half years experience as an emt, my precepter giving me the hand shake of passing and the fact that my secret weapon was with me. ....but i still left the building not feeling good about it.....For the next two days my thoughts were wrapped upon the rediculous question, the rythms i thiought i had interpreted right and the drug calculations i still ran in my mind....did i pass?

two days later, my hands shook as i logged in the website. My breathing became heavy and my heart pounded as the site loaded....was i really ready to pass this and move on? Did i need more training? questions like these raced through my mind as i waited. My secret weapon had always known better then me...even in the mists of failing my first time through the school by half a point..that had sucked but it had been the best thing for me..my secret weapon knew best and i had to rely upon that and that alone..........."everything was gonna be fine..no matter what." is what i kept telling myself....then it was there right infront of me ...the verdict..i read it a few times before i shouted through tears, with arms raised "I MADE IT!!!!! I PASSED!!!"

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

my secret weapon had worked and that was God! He had always been there for me, had never let me down...and He knew best..i knew if i failed it would be His will and in the end the best thing for me...all i had to do is trust Him!! He had called me to this and that is what i relied upon!!!! Trust is a hard thing...very hard..the hardest but the most rewarding when that trust is in God!!! If i had failed it would have been His will and i would have had to trust that..trust through failure is even harder...but when that trust is in the creator of the universe that failure is victory...for the will of God is victory. It was God's will for me to fail by half a point in school a year ago, because i failed things played out for me to go to the desert for internship with an amazing preceptor...God's will is the best!!!
His will was for me to pass this test and praise His name i did!!!!

Do you have a secret weapon? will it fail you? do you use your secret weapon for hard tests or for life too? I won't give up mine-so don't give up yours.....just make sure you have the right one :)

Praise the Lord!!!

"go get them, kid"

All 26 of them stood in a single file line infront of the door. Each one dressed in thier finest. some wore full suits, others black slacks, and a long sleeve white buttom up shirt with a tie, and one wore black pinstrip pants and a black top. No matter what they were wharing they were all there for the same purpose. excitment danced in thier eyes as they tried standing still. Some were reminising, some were laughing, some had already started celebrating prior and smelled of alcohol. Soon the doors opened and with a sigh of occomplishment all 26 of them walked through the doors and onto the stage, sitting in alphabetical order in the chairs alined on stage. The lights overhead blinded students to the faces in the back rows.
The ceremony started...
During the many speeches from the MC, the chairman, prinicple, teachers and their medical directer, the 26 students sat in relief that they had made it to this moment. Two of them chatted silently to each other about the people in the front rows and thier attire. Others gave each other nuckle punds during some of the speeches. Soon two of the students stood and addressed the autitorium. the class president convade some of the classes funny stories and some of the great moments. Then the only female student stepped to the mic and spoke of the class and the great guys she had been sitting with. Next came the awards...many of the students were granted awards for special achievments..then came the moment.
One by one each of the students were called by name to the podium and given an envelope. Each of them made contact either through hugs or hand shakes with the faculty, then took thier seat and clapped for thier counterparts. After the last student was called the enitre class rose and with a booming voice the MC annouced "congratulations, class 72!"...
These 26 people had been paramedic learners during thier classtime, paramedic students during ther clinical time, paramedic interns during thier field time...but they were now paramedic graduates as they rose and were applauded by friends, family, preceptors, co-workers, supervisors and chiefs. Thier hearts were full of thankfulness and excitment, thier minds full of relief and thier spirits ready to party. They had made it..how? Through long days in class, long nights pouring over thier books, long clinical shifts on thier feet and long field hours where they learned to connect all they had learned with the reality of the bleeding, screaming, panting or even dieing patient before them. But they had made it!
After applauses the graduates stepped from the stage and were welcomed by open arms of friends and family in congratulations!!! After the congrates some of the students made thier way to a bar and restuarant where they laughed, sang and even danced to thier victory.....but the begining had just stared these 26 graduates were on thier way to more tests, practicles, and ride outs to claimed thier state certs...
the thought of that next journey nugged my mind that night as i sat with them all celebrating....i had made it this far by the grace of God and i knew he would carry me the rest of the way-i was sure of that!!! I was excited to be now a graduate and done with this chapter of the paramedic life..but i was thankful and honored to be graduating and now celebrating with 25 of the greatest guys ever...people asked me how it was being the only girl in the class and going through all that with 25 guys?
Yeah there were ruff moments..but like i told the audience that night. " they took care of me and i wouldn't trade any of them. They are 25 of the most amazing guys ever."
congrates to class 72 and in the words of my preceptor "go get them kid"

"PRAISE GOD ...WE MADE IT!" -student of class 72

do people dress up only for halloween?

so that ounce a year day came along and kids and adults alike dressed up in costumes and hit the streets or parties..to trick or treat. Halloween for kids is a time to dress up as your favorite character, and go from house to house collecting candy. for the male adolescent they get to dress up and be a kid at heart but try to grow up by doing imacure things. the female adolescent has the opportunity to get away with dressing as a slut, and for the adult with kids they get to hang with thier kids..and the unmarried adult just gets an excuse to drink heavely...either way a costume comes on. they out on a mask and try to be another person where deep down underneath that they are the same person. weather its a wounder woman costume or a squint..they are the same person underneath.
So do people naturely hide who they are underneath a mask/costume. day to day put on a fasode of who they really are not..or do they do the opposite and hide the hero underneath their cloths.. sooner or later hallween ends for real and so does the battle to be someone else. put the costume down and be yourself. Haallween is over

should have been a vampire

so here i am in 29 palms and i have been studing hematology ( the study of blood)...i have always been intreged by blood..not sure if it is the texture, the color or just the fact that it is the essencial for life. i have never been frightened by blood and i guess that is one of the reasons i enjoy by job so much, for those things don't bother me but rather fascinate me.
maybe it is the fact that we are saved by Jesus Christ enternel blood. the thought that through that we are covered, forgiven and saved...(check out my previous blog 'the blood of Jesus') the componants of blood, the way it flows through the body is crazy if ya really study it. maybe i should have been a vampire..might not be able to do my job then or maybe i could..like the good doctor in twilight...i guess i will never know..guess i am just glad i can be my own vampire in a random odd way...but thats me random and odd.

the new country song in the early morning

the crew was woken up around 0600 am to respond to a rollover off of the highway about 70 minutes out from their station. They hurriedly got up , laced up thier boots and stepped out into the freezing desert air. With lights on and sirens going they made thier way down the empty highway looking here and there for the mysterious rolled over vechicle. with in 40 minutes this crew discovers a new problem, the dashbaord of thier ambulance started flickering, lights and all..and to thier dismay thier ambulance came to a hault on the side of the road. battery dead and smoke pouring out of the back. The howling wind and the non-heated icey cold ambulance were thier only companions as they discovered that thier contact radio didn't work in the middle of nowhere.
I guess I have never given verizon a chance before but the "network" did pull through and we were able to inform our dispatch of the situation by using our cell phone. we were informed that a tow truck was on its way and that another unit was enroute to the call.
so my precepter has an idea to put the unit in nuteral and coast farther down the highway.. of coarse this works...he is the smart man...we coast down to a old closed fire station and wait..and do i mean wait... wait.
....the unit is dead, therefore the radio doesn't work and so our time is accopenied by the icey cold wind, my emt partner telling us stories of old men getting hit by frozen paintballs, and me and my precepter debating over how many kyotes it would take to drag me off... here and there my precepter would cry "i want some coffee"...after waiting about 35 minutes the tow truck comes..as he is loaded up the unit we decide that this would be a good country song. " the dog died, the house burned down, my wife left me, and my ambulance died on me on the highway." finaly we start making the trip back to station....as we pull in to station the wind kicks up and now the debate it weather it would be easier for the wind to drag be off then kyotes to.
that is my morning..how is yours?

dead will come

everyday people wake up.....
what do they wake up for?.....
to work..
to eat....
to cry...
to laugh...
to live...

but does anyone wake up in the morning and say "i am waking up today to die." ????
even though that sounds crazy i some do..it is sad that some wish to end thier lives early...for some they don't have a choice that day just might be their last......

when you wake up in the morning, what if you were told you were going to die today...what would you say? what would you do? would you be exstra careful in everything... would you watch every move, every step you take..i mean not knowing how you would die...would that make you super conscience about eveything yopu do..trying to save yourself..i guess my question is would you spend the last day of your life trying to save yourself? trying to keep yourself from dieing? or would you live life to the fullest?

everyone no matter how old you are are going to die at one point....knowing that, does is make you want to live your life now to the fullest and for the only one who loves you and cares for you? who gave His life for you?
"

"I am the way the trueth and the life."
do you know who said that? The only one who loves you with more love then you thought possible...Jesus Christ!

you will die..i promise you that... are you ready? are you living? or are you a dead man walking?.....

some misteries of the EMS field

Why is it that everytime you are super tired or sick that everyone in the surrounding area needs an ambulance and therefore you keep running and never stop..and when you have had your coffee and you are ready to run a call..nothing happens? the misteries of EMS..there or some misteries that are soo big i don't think anyone will ever discover them..like why a person takes horse steriods? or why a family just sitts on thier couch chilling as thier son flops like a fish in the door way with six slugs in his back? or why an assistent living staff won't send out a patient that has first and second degree burns on thier belly? ...... or simple misteries like why do people slow and cause traffic when there is a timbleweed crossing the freeway but when i am standing on the frwy c-spining a patient in the pouring rain people speed by at like 70mph? or why people call 911 for a nightmare? there are many misteries that can be concluded from stupidity or is it just humanity...i have concluded that people big or small, old or young, wish to live their thier lives to thier fullest but when the chance comes they are scared..are you scared to live?

the good in the beast

so i ask myself over and over again why i always fall for the villians of the story..well i love darth vader, i love davey jones, and i love the joker, and of coarse i fell for lex luther and now my new lover...
i think i find myself looking for the good in them..following thier life stories to see why they turned the villian. the choices they made and the reasoning behind those choices. I watched all six of the star wars movies and i read the books to get a better understanding of the young tatoonie boy who became a sith Lord..my conclusion he grew up with a lack of love, a slave boy with no father and as he grew up he desired to be with the one who loved him, and when he saw that it was impossible alone, he saught after power to help him. Davey jones risk all for a love of a godess and his hatred grew when he thought he was betrayed. the joker is a mistery i think no one will descover. I watched seven season of smallville tracking lex luther's life. a unloved boy who was always searching for a higher good. wanting to do what was right but the only way he knew how to get what he wanted was through lies and betrayal..the only way he had been taught...these villians made alot of thier descions because of a lack of love in thier lifes which bring me to my new intrest. ....
i just got finished watching smallville's season 8, and my heart was captivated by a knew character...a young paramedic who sought after helping the world and mankind...but deep down inside he had another nature which he could not control. A nature that he was created to be..that he had been sent on earth to be and to destroy the world's savior: the red -blue blurr....this nature would come apon him, at first slowly and then without his control to stop. He faught against it and hoped he could stop it. through confession to a priest, through medication..he tried to stop it. He was a unloved boy traveling from foster home to foster home...but something had let him to work in matropolis where he met his savior a young blond reported...through the season he desicovered that as long as he was with her, the love of his life, he could control the beast inside.
But finally as the season premoir approuched he was devided from his evil side...and in the state of his human self he still appeared as a beast when he reached the point of loseing his love. 'Smallville ' does him no justice as his life is taken before we learn anymore about him and what caused this beastly anger to still poses him even with the kryptonian form seperated from him. possible the loe of his love
i was greatly disappointed to see the season end whithout doing him justice....becaue i believe as Clark Kent believed that there is goodness in everyone and it is up to us to find it and encourage it.' Smallville' needs to bring him back beofre its too late...
for paramedic or destroyer, for human or beast...Doomsday will rise..are you ready?

the first 72 hours of internship

the intern was awoken to the sound of her beeping alarm..she reached over and slammed the top of it before she jumped out of bed. The jump wasn't due to a surge of energy but a surge of nervousness...with in 20 minutes the intern was dressed, in her car, and driving to her destination: a small ambulance company in the middle of the dessert. After an hour and a half of driving through a busy freeway, and mountian canyon and miles of dessert she pulled up to the small station..which would not only be her home for the next 72 hours but for the next couple of months...........

nervousness to excitment to motion sickness to rattling her brain to starting ivs, back to nervousness and to excitment again...back and forth back and forth.....

tucking in her shirt to pulling up her hair..to slapping on latex gloves while the sun was blazing in the sky...to waking up to the call of her precepter to lacing up her steele toe boots...to walking out into the cold dessert night ..back and forth, back and forth...through out the next 72 hours....

through all this constant going the intern approuched eat call with anticipation, nervousness, excitment and a chance to walk onto the chaotic scene and start leading as a paranedic intern. from a pediatric bike crash to phyc patients to chest pain, to a whinning 20 year old drama queen to hopping through the broken window of a 93 year old ramblig women to a long transport to camp penalton..call after call the intern assessed and treated with the help of her understanding preceptor...she made it and can she do the next 72 hours next week?

by God 's grace, by prayer, by hard work this paramedic intern will jump through this hoop..in the strenght of God, in the representation of CHC, in the consideration of her patients in all to be a praemedic.

thank you God, for being with me.....

good or bad dreams

in four years of working in the EMS field i have responded to many different places for many different things but honestly none has been more rediculous then the one i ran monday night. I have ran i calls such as 'toe pain'..such as 'outer ear pain' many many many...but none as rediculous as a person calling 9-1-1 for....( i mean i was always taught that ambulance service, fire dept. medical aides, and first responders are for emergencies..isn't that why we are called emergency medical technicians? I understand that to every patient their situation is an emergency to them...people alot of the time don't understand why they feel a certian way so they call 9-1-1..which is fine and i am there to help) but seriously who calls for.. and you are gonna laugh when you hear it...no joke..you ready...they called because they had a NIGHTMARE... crazy right? no rediculous!!!! i thought it was some kind of a joke at first..or someone in need of alot of help but wasn't able to communicate that when they called..always thier for my patients giving them the benifit of the doubt..but when we arrived the patient walked out of thier home and said yes they had a nightmare and that they don't need us now..we stepped back into to the ambulance and informed our dispatcher that we were cancelled and that the patient really only had a nightmare...the response from dispatch was a 'copy' and then an annonymous voice from one of our other employees came over the radio with 'i see dead people' .........

my thought now is that at the end of the world when any nonbeliever stands before God at the judgment seat..will not be able to blame thier unbelief on a nightmare, won't be able to call 9-1-1 for help....and will realize that spiritualy thier whole lives they were the 'dead people walking'.........

do you have nightmares? do you have nightmares just thinking about the judgment seat? or is that whole picture of standing before God a beautiful dream? we only live once for a short time on earth but when Jesus comes back we will live eternally in only one of two places..which one are you going to be living at? and is eternaly life a beautiful dream or a.... nightmare?

the turn of point from student to intern

so today was the meeting... 28 excited/nervous paramedic students walked into the classroom, conversing with each other over clinical experiences, and work related situations..
one talks about the previous fires
one talks about the crazy 5150 patient they previously transported
one talks about the breaks of her ambulance locking on her during transport
many stories are exchanged as this class of 28 friends reunite...
they all sit down and listen to a four hour meeting consisting of paperwork/ rules and regulations..all at the edge of thier seats to find where they would begin thier journey as a paramedic intern..the turn in the road from student to intern..thier options:

city fire departments
county fire departments
ambulance agencies
.....alll in one county....


after the long meeting the final part had come..the field coordinator slowly walks across the classroom and hands the students each thier schedules one at a time...as one is handed to them thier classmates desperatly view the onfo with them learning where their counterpart is going... burts of praise, voiced questions, laugher, and anxiety feel the air as the students discover where they will go.....after the excitment settles down the field coordinator announces to the class...

"Get out thier and do a good job...be safe."

with that the class rises to thier feet and the noise of pushed in chairs, more laugher, more questions and now shouts of excitment fill the air as all 28 students walk from the classroom and out into the evening air..no longer 28 students but 28 paramedic interns hit the street....

am i ready? I am excited!!!
Lord strenghten me!!!! :)

To be one of Them

so here i am back from a great week of fun with the faff....a week full of shopping/ eating/ Alias/ bike-riding/ kicking faff's butt in skip-bow (maybe it was a tie)/ project runway/ music/and of coarse quotes!!!!! Also a day of fun with the kims.Just what i needed before the life of a paramedic field intern takes over my very existence.....extreme you think?

Well just tell that to the thousands of paramedic interns that have gone before me..... many have traveled this path before me...many who i call my friends, many who take it upon themself to wake in the middle of the night from the long anticiapated sound of the fire alarms or the the sound of a calling dispatcher's voice. To rise and strap on their boots or reposition themselves in thier crammed ambulance. Those that have to be fully awake and alert weather to drive throught the sleeeping city or map in thir counterpart. Those that walk on to an unknown scene, carrying thier cardiac moniter, ALS bag, and newly instated CPAP bag. Those that walk not only into homes, prisons, convelescent housing, but also on to the freeway.....walking up to a rolled over vehicle or a bumper to bumper traffic collison. With the night wind russling thier hair, they put on gloves and approuch the frightened victom. But not only the freeway is where these people respond outside at night ... but the streets....approuching the wasted man on the side of the the road, the drug overdose in the park, the assualt victom in the neighborhood street, the siezure victom outside of the liquer store, but also the dead young women laying face first down her stairs, shot repeatly in the back as she had tried to run form the home invasion. These people have to assess, and decide not only thier treatment but the hospital of choice, the status of thier transport but olso the call to base for a decision weather the patient's life should be called 'death' onscene.

After transport of the patient or the call and determination of death these poeple drive back to thier fire houses or re-post in thier ambulances ounce again. taking thier boots off or trying to once again find that position they had earlier to fall asleep....they all close thier eyes ounce again hoping that they can drift off for awhile as they anticipate their next call......these or those at night..those by day work to a slitely different tune..thier calls consist also of the school children, the medical clinical offices, the hurried drivers going to or from work, the stressed out college students, but they stay awake...occationaly slipping of for a nap..but they also run the fire houses or thier respected ambulances.. no matter what they were doing prior to the call..eating, reading, whatever is forgotten and they are alert, ready to devote to the call at hand....

i have been working as an EMT for four years now and i have to be awake and alert for the call at hand...but soon i will have to shift my thoughts and be thier in charge, assessing, treating and transporting the patient at hand..with everyone breathing down my neck praying i will do the right thing as a stretch my horizons as a medic.....

It will be crazy, it will be hard, i will probably have moments of laughter, moments of despair, moments of frusteration at myself..i will be tired, i will probably say four letter words i would never imagine myself to say.....i know i will cry....but i have soo many amazing people behind me...encouraging me, propting me to go.. and most importantly i have God telling me to go...

thank you family,
thankyou friends
thankyou Belizian buddies
thankyou San Bernardino county fire depts
thankyou craftoon hills collleg staff
thankyou AMR employees
and that you God for calling me to this....be with me as i step out in faith to grab what you have laid before me...streghten me.......

and so i will go...i will walk this path of what God has called me to be...to be a paramedic
lord strethen me...

Old Blogs From the Past

Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Special Dreams

Everyone has dreams for the future, but for the person who has given their life to the Lord and is walking in Him, their future becomes the dreams they never thought they had.

Everyone weather they are four or a hundred years old, they have dreams for the future. More so when they are young. the little girl puts her mother;s apron on and acts like she it cooking a meal. The little boy puts on his father's fire fighter's or policeman's hat and plays the role. Some little ones put on there parents shoes are coats and plays the role. Either way everyone has dreams for there future. Things that hope to do, places they hope to see. I had my dreams as I have grown up, like a nurse. But when I gave ,my life over to the Lord He as the ruler of my life gave me more then I would have every thought possible. He showed me a heart that i didn't think I had and a love for not nursing, but Emergency care. Something that I have such a passion for and enjoy greatly. He is the one who showed me that and has cared me through it all.
I'm sure you have your own special dreams...if you don't something is wrong with you. But I have found that as Christians we are encouraged to give our lives up to the Lord. Saying the sinner's prayer and surrendering your life to the Lord are two different things. Surrendering your life is giving it up. Offering it as a sacrifice to the Lord. At the end of a church service the pastor was asking us to pray and see if the Lord wanted us to give an offering to the church. I was sitting there with hardly any money in my pocket and was like, Lord what do you want we to offer up, what do you want me to give you? This money in my pocket? I felt the Lord telling me to give up my life. That is all He wanted. I sat there praying and felt His touch on my life. Telling me to offer up my life. I have been a Christian following Him for years now, and He was asking again for my heart and life. The Lord calls us to be living sacrifices, but living sacrifices try to crawl off of the alter. And I realized then that I had crawled off. I had been living my life the way I had wanted to. The Lord had blessed my life with so much already , but I had turned my back on Him as the leader of my life.I was following Him, but hadn't given it all to Him. Making my own decisions.My past seemed to make sense. I realized that who I was, what I did, where i have gone has only been since i had given my life to the Lord years ago. But I had gotten to a point of crawling off the alter and taking charge of myself again. I surrendered there in church. Giving my life back to the Lord. To the one who had always been faithful and who had always been there for me. I wanted Him to be the leader in my life again. And I declared then that my life was fully not my own but His. And whatever He had for me, where ever He wanted me to go...I would go...I would do. For my life was now His.
I hope to encourage you by prompting you to not only receive the Lord as you Savior, but surrender you life to Him. Place it in His hands. Surrender your dreams to the Lord and see what He does with them. For He knows you better then you know yourself. And He has special plans for you too.
Being a living sacrifice is hard, because we will always try and crawl off of the alter, but I hope to encourage you by telling you to surrender daily and give your life to Him.
Can you declare that your life is not your own? It is hard...but when you do He will open your eyes to a plan you might have never thought possible. And to desires you never thought you had. Continue to follow Him and your future we be the dreams you never knew you had.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Monday, October 23, 2006
Labor Pains

The Paramedic and I had just received a call for a simple transfer from one facility to the other. We were two minutes and one light from our first facility when our shift number came over the radio. The Medic picked up our mic. and asked them to proceed. The dispatcher changed our call and gave us an emergency child birth. I flipped on my lights and sirens as I turned the Ambulance around and made my way through traffic. We were on scene in less then ten minutes. We jumped from the unit and pulled out our gurney from the back. The fire department was already on scene and coaching us into the small apartment. As I walked in they asked me to help the fire medic in the other room. Being the only female personal on scene made me the one to help. I walked in the room to see the young girl screaming as she was fighting on the bed. I helped the medic exam her and we decided we had enough time to get her to the hospital before she would deliver. We helped her slowly onto the gurney and got her in the back of the ambulance. Her groaning and screaming elevated as we turned her on her side for protection. I jumped to the front and drover her and the medic to the hospital .As we got her out and into the ER, we were told to go straight to delivery. We wheeled her down the hall and to the elevator. I was encouraging her to take deep breathes as she used most of her oxygen in screams. She kept moving all over the gurney hoping for the time to pass. We made it to the floor and the room. As we stood her up she grabbed her stomach and started to fall. I had both of her arms in mine and with encouragement and my strength she rose to her feet. We had to walk her to the bathroom in the room, so the nurse could get her prepared for delivery. With a few more deep breathes I help her slowly walk to it. She kept grabbing her stomach and slightly falling, but we worked together and she made it. Ounce inside the nurse took her and my job was over. As I cleaned and re-prepared the gurney in the hall, I could still hear the woman crying out in pain. That was only my third call for a woman in labor but she must have been having the hardest time. For the other two woman never cried out that much.
I was thinking after how hard and painful it must be have a baby, someday I guess I will know. But I thought of all nine months of emotional and aches she has to go through. When my mom was pregnant with the last two boys I was old enough to know what was going on. And let me tell you my mom went through a lot. But the joy after, the joy of my two brothers, the joy every woman has as she holds that child in her hands, make the memories of the pain before fade away. The joy of seeing the Lord's creation, and His grace and blessing upon her life.
The whole concept reminded me of how we go through hardship and pain as the Lord is changing, growing something in us and through us. When we first receive the Lord into our lives, we surrender and are willing and excited to have the Lord work through us. Just like the mother who is excited to discover she is pregnant. But through the months of growing into the the person the Lord has created you to be, we think sometimes, it is too painful. And the Labor pains, the times the Lord is really working in you and producing a change and a new creation in you. are the times of greatest pain. The times when we want to give up and walk away. But the Lord has us and ounce we grow, ounce He changes that in us we get the reward of the new creation. Now I'm not Just talking about new believers. But we are all constantly growing in the Lord and times may be as painful as labor pains, but my word of encouragement is to keep going. First obey the Lord . Second, Follow Him and His leading. and third, Trust, trust the Lord that He is holding you. And that however painful it might be, He loves you and is holding you. Surrender and trust Him. For He is constantly growing us, molding us to be more like Him. Praise the Lord that He loves us that much! And desires to do that in us. Keep trusting Him, no matter how hard and painful it is.
Just like I was there to help this young woman, may we as brothers and sisters in Christ, encourage each other. Not get down on each other , but help each other, pray with them and remind them that the baby is coming soon.
Jesus says many times in the Bible that, ..."it came to pass". Hang in there even if your labor last many hours, days...the baby will come.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Thursday, November 02, 2006
Urgency to respond

It was the first time I had worked in a whole week. I love working, I love my job and driving code three through the crazy, busy streets of the county I live in. We went into service and posted in one of the nicer city of our area. Where the action never really happens. As we sat there on the corner, waiting, I was getting impatient. I hadn't worked in awhile and I wanted to go full force anywhere. We didn't get a call in a few hours. I was thankful that everyone in the city was okay, but I wanted to do my job. After another hour or two, our shift number came over the radio. The Medic picked up the mic. and dispatch gave us a call. I was soo excited to finally get to work. I flipped the lights and sirens on a raced through the city. That day we only got four calls. That may seem a lot to you, but for a 12 hour shift that is slow. I was thankful that everyone was doing good, but I missed the excitement and wanted to do my job. The Medic I worked with told me he had never worked with someone like me that really wanted to do my job. Out of those four calls, we only transported one. Only one really needed our help. But the job and racing to get there was great and it greatly excited me.
I was thinking about in the other day, and was reminded of the first blog that I wrote. About racing code three for the Lord. I was thinking over how excited I was to flip on my lights and sirens that day and get out there. I love being called upon for help and I love the urgency of the calls. And I questioned myself, do I feel urgency in that way to share the gospel, do race code three for Him. Or am I the kind of person who complains when someone needs to hear the gospel. Do get upset when the Lord asks me the share, or do I wish that another crew(person) could handle that call? A lot of questions raced through my mind, and it really got me thinking. Like I said I love to be called upon for help, but do I get excited when someone needs my help spiritually?
The Lord has blessed me with a heart to help people and a heart for my job. And the love of the urgency for the calls. But I want to have that same excitement and urgency to help those who need more then just physical help but the kind of help for eternity. May we have that heart, may I have that heart for the lost. God is the only one who can give you that heart, and I long for it.
I hope to encourage you by confessing that I don't have that heart, but I long for it and pray for it...to see the lost through loving eyes like His. Let us not be the crew member that complains when our shift number comes over the radio, but get excited when the Lord dispatches us to witness to those in need of our service...roll code with urgency to share.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Thursday, November 09, 2006
breathe breaths of hope

I woke up Monday morning and was ready to work. I felt the day was going to be different, but I couldn't put my figure on it. When I got to work I met the Medic I was going to be working with. It was someone I had seen around the station since I have been working there and have always thought, "I hope I don't have to work with him." hahaha- God's sense of humor I guess. He was an older man and very negative. The day was a very busy one, and it was hard working with such a negative person. The whole day seemed weird. I love my job but it was the first shift that I felt weird about and I actually wanted the day to end. I went home and felt weird about the whole thing. The calls were nothing unusual and it felt like a systematic day.
But the other day I was burning some CDs for a friend of mine and was listening to a song written by on e of my friends She wrote the song for the children of Africa, it talks about the orphanage she works for and the love they share to these children is like breathing hope into their lives. I felt the Lord speaking to me about my job. He gave me a new outlook on my job. It not only is fun to race through the streets with lights and sirens, or to work with someone fun, but is much more. When I walk into the patients house or street or anywhere, when I walk into their lives to help I am breathing hope into their lives. We are the hope of help to them. When people call the 9-1-1, they cry out for medical help, they are in the most vulnerable state of their lives. They see us as hope for them. It made me really realize the importance of what I represent. My uniform represents hope to the medical emergency. When I am working, and walk into a fast food place to eat or anywhere we are always stared at and joked about helping someone there. But I realized that I breathe hope into the lives needing physical help.
But then I realized another truth, How much more is sharing Christ and being example for Him important. We as Christan breathe hope for the unsaved soul. Hope from eternal death, hope of a God that loves and cares. And we may be the only example they ever see or have. As an EMT my job is to respond, provide assistance to the paramedic and the properest care, to transport in the quickest and safest way, and to turn over the patient to a higher level of care. As Christians our job is to be a witness and be an example(respond) to the spiritual dying, to share(letting the Holy Spirit guide), To help them understand the Word and God's love, and to pray and turn them over to the Holy Spirit and His higher level of spiritual care. It is the Lord's job to do the Work. We can't save anyone but we can show the Lord's love and breathe hope into their lives.
Even when the day is weird and we may be hanging out with negative people, our job as Christians, as soldiers for Christ is still very important. Remember that the Lord has a mission for everyone and that He has called us all to shine for Him and share His love and the gospel, even when we feel weirdness, know that we still have a job to do and it is very important. So my encouragement to you is to not give up when we are going through hardships or feeling Spiritual attack. Satan wants you to give up, don't let him win! I felt my job that day very systematic because we didn't get any really crazy calls, but I was convicted about feeling that way, I should be prepared for any crazy call. We should be prepared to share the gospel to anyone. If you don't know the Bible well enough I encourage you to dive into it.
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. That the man of God may be complete thoroughly equipped for ever good work. - 2 Timothy 3: 16-17
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear. - 1 Peter 3:15
Just as I have to be re-tested this December for re-certification and I have to be always refreshing my mine in my books and skills to preform my job properly, we as Christians need to be in the Word of God, meditating on it and growing in it and through it.
Life is not to be lived systematically, each day shouldn't be a normal day, but be ready to share the Lord, be ready for anything. For our jobs here on earth are very important...breathe breathes of hope to the dying soul.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Tuesday, November 14, 2006
The Blood of Jesus

"For the life of the flesh is in the blood, and i have given it to you upon the alter to make atonement for your souls, for it is the blood that makes atonement for the soul." -Leviticus 17:11

I am currently in an Anatomy and physiology class at a community collage. I have previously been studying blood. The other day as I sat in church the pastor was talking about the power of the blood of Jesus and how it washes away our sin. It made me start thinking about my class and what I have learned. And the Lord was revealing that truth to me in a different way. What is blood?
Blood is made up of red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets. Each preform a specific function to keep the body working.
Erythrocytes (RBC) - The function of these cells is to care and transport oxygen to all the components of the body. Without RBC our bodies would die of no oxygen, for the tissue would soon shrivel up and die, killing us. With out the blood(RBC) of Jesus we would spiritually shrivel up and die. Just as oxygen is a high source of life, God is our only source of eternal life.He keeps us living.
Leukocytes(WBC)- Protect us from forgein microrganisims and fight against infection. We have over five different type of WBC that all preform different functions, but in the long run they build up the immunity system and fight.The blood of Jesus protects us from demons form the hand of Satan. If we are covered in the blood of Jesus, Satan can not infect us. The Holy Spirit gives us strength to help resist the things of the flesh. It builds up our immune system spiritually.
Thrombocytes(platelets)- Prevent blood loss, forms blot clots. When we are cut platelets produce blot clots that cover the cuts and heal them. The blood of Jesus covers all our sin, makes us righteous in the sight of God. It covers us and heals us. For we can never enter into the gates of heaven with the sin in our lives, but His blood covers our sin, when He took the wrap. The Holy Spirit covers us and prevents us from dieing (Blood loss)
In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His glory. -Ephesians 1:7
Just as our physical blood is important for living and substaining a healthy life, so the blood of Jesus is our source of living. It makes us new, fresh and righteous in the eyes of our heavenly Father. Physical blood gives oxygen, protects us and heals us. The Blood of Jesus gives us the ability to breathe eternally, protects us from satan, covers us and heals us. The blood of Jesus paved the way for us into forgiveness on Christ and the way for eternal life.
Don't thrive on your physical blood only but in the blood of Jesus that covers our sins.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Tuesday, December 05, 2006
The Reason

We were in service at 5:40am and posted at a local street corner. After and hour or two we received a code three response for a auto verses motorcycle. I flipped on the lights and sirens and raced to the scene, encircled with PD's vehicles. We were first on scene, over fire and walked to a man who was sprawled out where the sidewalk meets the grass. The first thing I noticed was the dark thick red blood that was oozing through his obvious broken leg to the pavement. We grabbed our medic bag and quickly opened it. By this time firemen rolled up and ran toward us to assist. A fireman helped me remove his helmet as I started to apply the C-collar (neck brace). As I did so the man opened his eyes and looked up into mine. His eyes were rolling and he stared to mumble. He had a short neck and we had to cut off his leather jacket to get to it. Once the collar was on I moved for the medic fireman, as he moved in to assist my medic with the inabation.(tube placement in the trachea(windpipe)). Another firman and I prepared the Bag mask and stripped out an IV line for the other fire medic preparing for IV placement. When the inabation was complete we handed the mask to the medic and he began to bag. As I prepared the backboard another fireman bandanged the broken lag. We strapped him on the backboard and then to the gurney. After loading him in the back I jumped to the front and flipped the sirens back on and raced to the hospital. Upon arrival I opened the back doors to see my medic and two of the firmen preforming CPR, he had gone into cardiac arrest. We pulled him out and I stood on the bottom rail and continued compressions for them as the three wheeled me into the hosptal. We quickly handed him over to the doctors and my job was over. I grabbed the blooding gurney and wheeled it back out to the ambulance. As I cleaned up our messy gurney and thrashed ambulance I felt alittle helpless. After clean up I sat in the brake room at the hospital and talked to the fire captian about the call. He shared words of encouragement about the call, but it was...hard. I have never had a patient like that die on me. The past calls that I have run that concludes in a death, the patient has always been dead apon arrival. But this man was alive when we got there, breathing and looking at me. I actually saw him die in some form of aspect. The memory of him lasted strong with me for two days.
Last night at my college group we were singing the song 'Jesus, be the center". and a line in the song says, "Jesus, be the reason that I live." And I thought of that man. What was his reason for living? Did he know that Lord? Did he have a family? Friends? What was his reason? I don't know and I probably will never find out, but I felt those questions re-directed toward me, What is the reason of my life? Do I keep Jesus the reason? Do I keep Him the center? If I were to die today would I be ready? For the non-believer this question is scary, but for the believer is just as important. For as a Christian I have found that I sometimes get caught up in day to day life. Saying I give the Lord my all, but not keeping Him the reason or the center. I believe distrections of this world can keep us from focusing on the Lord, even if they are good things, if it keeps us from keeping God the reason and center of living, they are bad things. I hope to encourage you by telling you that death happens everyday, everywhere. death is something no one can hide from, so when it strikes will you be ready?
Is Jesus at the center of your life? Is He the reason? Don't wait for someone to do compressions on your heart to make up your mind, God is calling now. If you don't know Him ask Him into your life- you won't regret it! If He is in your life...keep Him the reason!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Wednesday, December 27, 2006
God holds Life

I had picked up a twenty-four hour shift in the heart of the ruff city. We had a small station and the day had so far been really slow. Allowing me to kick it and in fact watch x-men 3. Between 9 and 10 our phone at the station rang and we were informed that we had a code three. I ran to the ambulance and started it as my Medic, Nick locked our station. He hopped in and checked the map book as I informed dispatch that we were ready to go. She told us we were dispatched form a possible full arrest (cardiac arrest). We raced threw the city till we came to the address. We were first on scene and raced in the house. I called out to the firefighters, behind us top grab a backboard. I followed Nick into a room to find a young girl on the ground. Nick pulled out the airway equipment as the fire Medic started compressions. I got the heart monitor on and attacked the3 shock cables, as Nick moved in to cut her shirt. Two other firefighters jumped in as we began CPR and prepared for IVs. I took over the job of bagging her (using a device to push air through her mouth) after the medic had the inabation done (placement of a tube through her mouth into her lungs. IVs seemed to be impossible for her so the fire Medic began pushing the medications down her tube between pumps. In between rounds of CPR, we would stop to check if she had a pulse, and her rhythm on the monitor. Nothing on both accounts. The fire medic drilled trough both of her tibias' (Shin bones) and pushed more meds. After a couple more minutes we moved her to the backboard, to the gurney and finally to the back of the ambulance with no hope. Nock and two of the firefighters jumped in the back as I jumped to the front and raced us to the nearest hospital, that thank God was only a minute or two away. When we arrived I pulled her out. The faces of the firemen and Nick convinced me that they had had no further changes. We raced through the ER doors as Nick started reporting to the trauma nurse. We rolled her next to a bed and moved her over. The ER nurses and techs. Soon crowned around the small bed and I was pushed to the side with the gurney. My job was now to clean up. As I walked away I heard the trauma nurse tell the others that there didn't look that she had much of a chance. I walked outside and began to clean up the tour up back of out ambulance. As I did I felt a little depressed. Her another patient dying. I tried to encourage myself by assuring myself that she wasn't alive when we got there, but already died and that our efforts had failed. And they had. We had done our best and the words of the trauma nurse confirmed that they weren't good enough. As I continued to clean up the two firefighters walked out of the ER and talking amongst themselves. As they started walking toward there engine, they the rest of their crew had driven. The fire Medic walked up to me and said. "Good job." I told him the same and then in his exact words he said. "They got a blood pressure and a synes rhythm." I was in shock that means that her heart had come back. She was on her way to recovery. The whole thing didn't make sense to me. How could some one, who had no hope, all of a sudden bounce back like that? The Fire Medic told me good job and again and then took off. I started to cry for joy at the newfound news. That was the work of God, I told myself. It was only him who had reached down and started her heart again. But I was so thankful that the Lord had chosen me to be the one to witness that miracle. And that He had me run that call and be apart of that. I was so excited to know that my job does work. And after having my first patient die on me full force a couple of weeks be fore, I believe that God was assuring me that He is the God of Life. John 14:6. God is the only way, truth and life. And I was thinking about it a couple of days later how excited I was to find out that she came back, and that she knows has a second chance at life. But how more impo0rtant is the inward part of someone. The part that lasts of eternity? I was apart of her coming back, but how many lives have I been apart of that have spiritually been saved. Have I been the one to witness to them and share the cure of life (God)? It is up to the power of God to save someone eternally, but I can be there as an EMT for Christ and share Him with them before it is too late. Do you use every chance you have to share the good news with someone and do you get excited when they come to Christ? I know I need to change and few things in my life.Life is way too short…so use every opportunity you have to share with someone. And remember that God id the only way, truth and life. I was so blessed to have Nick, an incredible Medic at my side during that call. It is important to have brothers and sisters with us in bringing the gospel. We don't have to have them, but it always helps. They are there for support in word and prayer. Remember God is life and He holds all in his hands!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Dying spiritually

Ever sense I got back from Belize in December I have been woundering why I am still here. I mean I miss Belize soo much. I am finally at the place in my job that I have been aiming for the past couple if years. A full time ALS worker on a 9-1-1 car. So i told myself that is the reason I'm not in Belize right now. because I am at the point of my job I have worker toward for a very long time. But still asking the question and woundering if I will evermove to Belize..and soon. But the Lord showed me the reason I am still here the other day.
Sunday the pastor was speaking on John 5, about the mirecle at Bethseda. As he was talking about all the people who were sick, i was thinking of my job. And all the people I had transported the past four days. I thought of all the bed delays I waited for . I thought of how the waiting rooms at the different hospitals were packed out. One of our trauma centers is a Pediatric hospital as well. It is always full of people and we are always waiting for a bed for our patients. earlier in the week as I was working I was thinking about when the Lord had walked on this earthand healed the lame, blind and sick. And thought what if the Lord was walking on the earth now, He could just walk into that hospital, start at the waiting room and work His way up into the highesat levels and heal them all. With a touch of His hand all the beds at the hospital could be open for service. That would me healing a multitude of people. In verse 3 or chapture 5, John says that there was a great multitude of people at Bethseda, waiting to jump in the stiring pool to be healed. I also thought if Jesus was on this earth right know I would want Him to roll code with me, them we could have a stack of cancelled run forms and AMA(refusing transport documentations). If all the people in all the hospitals in just the county I lived in alone gathered together it would me a great multitude like at Bethsade. The pastor then started talking about how many people today are spiritually sick, great multitudesof people are dieing spiritually everyday. And then it hit me.
Everyday I work I look for the sick and I give them the pysical help they need. I hear someone caugh and my attention is on them. But what about the multitude that is spiretually dieng that is all around me. I have compassionon the sick enough to aide them, do i have compassionon the spiritually sick. The medic I worked with saturday had a slight cold and was soo tired from a busy week. That day I tried to help him out even more in alot of areas because I felt bad for him, feeling that way. Everytime I work with someone who is getting over a cold or something I try and aide them eve more because I know it sucks to be sick. But then I thought about them spiritually. Do I spend time sharing with them? Do I put more or any effort into sharing with them? God reviled to me my heart for the people Iwork with. I don't have perminent medic partner yet, which means I work with alot of different people. And because of that I am closer to alot ofpeople because I have special memories, of different calls with them. And the Lord has shown me this weekend that I care for these people that they are my buddies at work. But do I share the most important thing with them? I was convicted of that. I spend twelev hours with each of them and I don't use that time. Granted sometimes we are way too busy to even ask each other what we thought about the call, but still I have come to realize that I love and care for these people and that I should use that time to share with them. For this might be the only time I ever see them, for people come and go at my job all the time. Or what if they were killed and I never shared with them. I'm not the kind of person to preach down thier throats butI pray my life reflects Christ everyday, but I should share with them. Jesus in walking on this earth today, His spirit is present in us and though it does matter when someone is pysically dieing it matter much more where they will go after this life. Physical need is easier to see and help, but spiritual need is far more important.
I know I am still hear not only to do my job and have fun doing it, but to be a witness, light, and friend to the lost. Like I said the Lord is in spirit in us and He is the only one who can heal a broken heart, heal the dieing heart and He wants to use us no matter where we are. Letthe Lord use your mouth to spread His good news. Let His spirit work in you.
I have seen people hurt, bleeding and have watched some die...it hurts my heart to see that, but it breaks my heart to think of where they go after this life. I am here for a purpose in the lives of those around me and so are you...people are important and there imortal souls count the most.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Friday, April 20, 2007
Don't give up

And that very hour He cured many of infirmities, afflections, and evil spirits; and to many blind He gave sight.
Jesus answered and said to them. "Go and tell John the things you have seen and heard: that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleanseed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have the gospel preached to them." - Luke 7: 21-22

John sent his discilpes to ask Jesus if he was the 'One" (verse20). And Jesus told them to report back what they had seen. They had seen Him heal many. The mericles that the Lord was doing were the most insane. To restore the sight of those who were blinded, give strentgh to the legs of the lame, retore the skin of those plaged, that those who were poor, had no hope, were given the best news in the whole world, the news of hope. And to the dead he gave life.
My partner and I had had a slow day. Only a few minor calls. We were posted at one of the 24hr stations, kicking back and watching TV. The phone rang in the station and we were informed that we had a code 3. We rushed out of the station and were given the location. It came over the radio as a person who had fallen to the floor. I turned on my lights and sirens and reced to the call. When we arrived, my partner ran into the house to ask the firemen if they needed a backboard for spinal injury. I waited by the unit ready to grab it. He came running out of the house, shouting, "Grab it...it's a full arrest" (a full arrest is when someone's heart stops beating). I grabbed the equipment and we raced into the house. The firmen had dragged the old lady from the back room into the living room. With our help we put her on the gurny and I began compressions as the medic got ready for intabation( placing a tube down thier mouth to the lungs, for clear airay). We put her on the monitor and abserved the flatline. ( her heart was completely stopped). We stopped compressions momentarily as the fire medic went in for the inabation and placed it perfectly. We started a round of shock as a line was stripped out and the medic prepared for an IV. My partner was setting up the fire medic's medication. We stopped shock as the fire medic went in for the IV and got it. Many Medications were being shot through the IV during compressions, in between shock waves, but the monitor still showed only a flatline. We worked her for about 15 minutes and the fire medic declared that we should call it. (stop and declare her dead) she was a very old lady and all the effert in the world wasn't helping her. He called the nearby hospital to clear it with a doctore as we contuinued compressions. We stopped momentarily as the fir medic placed two fingures on her neck. He was talking to the doctore on the phone ready to declare...he stopped in mid sentence and started shouting. "I have a pulse, I have a pulse!" we shocked her again and a faint rythm appeared on the monitor. we told the doct to hold on a we administered another wave of shock...she then went flat line again. We continued compression and bagging her...she was flatlined. The firemedic turned back to the phone and began to finish his report again. The other fireman reached over and began to sream. "I got a pulse!" we shocked her agian and she perduced another rythm. The fire medic turned to us and said." We can't do this all day, lets load her up and go." With a laugh in my heart I strapped her in. The fire medic informed the doc we were coming and hung up. We got her in the back of the unit and I raced off lights and sirens to the nearest hospital. When we arrived I pulled her out from the unit, happy to see that she still had a rythm. We rolled her into the ER and handed her over to the staff.
That was one of the craziest calls I have ever run. I believe that i will never forget it. The craziness of someones heart stopping, re-starting, stopping, and then starting agian is insane. I have never run one like it and neather has many at AMR. it is one for the record. The thought of one caming back- it is only by the hand of the Lord that makes that heart re-start. Her age, condition and history made it even more crazy that her heart re-started. I saw a mericle take place infront of my eyes.
Jesus told John's disciple to tell him wait they had seen. The most unlikely person in the world to live...the dead. The next day I was thinking about the calla dn fwelr tthe Lord speaking to me about the spiritually dead around me. Those I work with and those who I see walking around. Then He was speaking to me about the most unlikely people in the world that I think never will come to the Lord. The people at work who mock me, who live their lives in blatten sin, who blasphem the Holy Spirit with every breath. They are spiritualy dead and the Lord can raise them. He can break through thier heart and reach them. But it is our jobs to pray for them and be that witness and example. In the mist of the call the fire medic, logically thinking that the old lady wouldn't be coming back, reached out and felt her pulse. As he was going to declare it the other fireman reached out. we continued our assistents. He wasn't willing to give up..we kept on going. I have run many full arrests and out of many I have had two come back, the fact that we didn't give up that we did all we could, on the most unlikely people to help,(those who were dead), the were raised. The Lord touched them and healed them. He can touch the heardest heart, He can soften the hardest heart. we can't give up praying for the poeple in out lives.
I beg you not to give up! John's desciple were looking for hope and the Lord was telling them He was that hope and He can do the crazest mirecle ever. He did on the cross and through His resterection! He is the hope for this dieing world. No one lives forever. We need to not give up! Get out there and continue praying fro those in outr lives that need the Lord! You may be there only Emergency response they have. The Lord wants to do a mirecle and He can do it. Don't give up, pray! And live your life relecting God's hope.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Tuesday, February 12, 2008
A love that never dies

My partner and I were dispatched to a home for a possible difficulty breathing pt. We flipped on our lights and sirens and raced to the call. When we arrived onscen the fire dept. was already there along with the cops. We grabbed our gurney and began walking to the house. As we approched it we heard screaming from inside. We left the gurney outside and walked in. In the living room was a middle-aged mad sitting ont the couch. He was bent forward with his head in his hands, crying and screaming. Two of the firemen were standing above him trying to calm him down. The other fireman was standing toward the door. I asked him what was going on. The fireman told me that the man's brother had suddenly died. PD walked from the back room to the man trying to get some info from him. The fireman walked us to the back room to have a look at the dead brother. He was just spralled out on his bed. I asked the fireman if he new how it happened. He said that the middle-aged man said that he left the room for a minute and when he returned his brother was dead. No explination or anything. We walked back to the living room. The man was know on his feet screaming, "Why? Why? did he die...brother, brother, why?" his high pitched voice seemed to peirce my heart with sadness. Fire told us we could go. As we walked out fo the house we noticed that criminal investigation had arrived. We put our gurney back in the unit, hearing the brother's screams all the way from inside. Fire walked out of the house, thanked us for coming. As we jumped in the unit , the brother ran out of the house with PD following. "Why? Why did he die?" as we cleared the scene and pulled awy we could still hear the screaming from a man who lost his brother.
I ran this call exactly one year ago, but I can still remember the screaming, the sadness, the abandonmen, the agner the man had over the lose of his brother. obviously this man really loved his brother, and for him to die without any explenation...I can't imagen that feeling. we run calls wear people die all the time, but to walk into a room and be too late...being helpless is hard especially when the family is screaming for you to save them. This was my first DOA that was not associated with a full arrest,. and the screaming and sadness from the brother hit me like a brick wall. For a momenet when we were in the home I was stunned. Not sure waht to think, say or feel.
The Lord used the call later to make me realize something. And now that it is almost valentine's day I am reminded of it. The Lord was showing me the love someone can have for someone else. But how fragile human life is that a man can die without any exsplenation, without reason, with out a chance, that person that love is gone. The people I love and that love me won't be here forever. It breaks my heart tro think that I will not always have my mom to talk to, to laugh with, to be encouraged with. I will not always have my Dad's arms to run to, my brothers my sister I will not alway have them. I think about all my friends, they will not always be there. Robin in Batman Beyond said,"You have to learn to appreciate the people in your life while you have them." how true is that. It made me realize how speical memories are, and to treasure them even more. I will see my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in heaven, but what about those who don't know the Lord...I need to pray for them!
The Lord showed me that people and there love can die, but His love never does. He will never die! I bet John, Mary Jesus' mother, and Mary Magdalen were feeling like that man was when they saw Jesus hanging on the cross. I bet Josephe of Arimathea and Nickodemus felt that way when they baired Jesus in the tomb, and I bet the desciples felt that way waiting in the house. But had they only known that Jesus, God can't die and neither does His love. In fact while He hung on the cross and His physical body was dieing His love was not.
"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." -Luke 23:34
He never dies! His love never dies! He will always be there! His love will aways be there!
This valentine's day think of God's love, the greatest love! The love that can never die! Love those around you and learn to make every mement with them count. I challenge you to give your heart to Him, except His love whole-heartly, thank Him for His love. May God be your valentine, and make every moment of your life count with Him.