a secret weapon

She had been studing hard and long! Days and days ever sense she recieved her testing date. Another from her class had gone before her and had made it..the hope of that same occomplishment nugged her heart that it was possible to do. She also had a secret weapon...
This secret had never failed her before, never let her down, and always worked toward the best for her. Everyone before her had had tricks, extra study guides, great study books that she did not posses at the moment but she decided to to bring her abilities, her knowledge, her passion for it and her secret weapon to the table. She locked her car up and with anxiouness and fear tugging on her stomache she walked to the front door. A tall brown haired young man was a few steps infront of her and walked through first. He was dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt. A sigh of relief fell on her as she was glad she wasn't the only one not dressed up. Her atire consisted of jeans, a checkard tank-top and a black sweatshirt. She follow the handsome man in and met him at the elivator. He walked in and she followed.
"third floor?' he asked eyeing my paper that i desperatly clutched.
"National registry?" i confirmed.
"Yup." he said pushing the buttom with a three printed on it. "What level?" he asked eyeing my paper again.
"Paramedic." i said witha sigh of tiredness. "you?"
"Emt." he answered nerviously
"I am just so ready to be done." i sighned. He agreeed witha knod. The elivator doors opened and we both disembarked.
"Where now?" i asked unsure of my barring.
"To the right." he pointed. I knew i was early so i decided to take a few last deep breaths in the bathroom. "good luck, i will see ya in there." i said turning to the bathroom.
"You too." was the last word i heard the handsome young man say. After i had left the bathroom i made my way through the glass doors. The next coupld of minutes were given over to rule astablishment , pictures taken, ids copied, and finger printed. I was then gieven a locker to keep my exceptence letter, keys, watch and bracelet in. I was told that if i walked into the testing room wearing my sweatshirt i would have to keep it on the whole time. Soon my name was called and i walked to the back where i was told of more rules and finger printed again. I was then told that i would be filmed during the whole test. After my id was checked again the door infront of me opened. I peared in to see many testing stations. I noticed students of all ages and was excited to see my handsome man at a near by testing station.
"ready?" the lady asked me. with a knod of my head i was escorted to a station. And with a word of "good luck" the lady left me and i faced the computer before me and clicked on the begin button.
The next two hours where full of cardiac rythm identification, drug caculations, trauma triage, MCI protocols, basic and advanced life support and wacked sanarios....i had no idea if i was gonna make it through...i heavly relied on my last year of classroom learning, my four and a half years experience as an emt, my precepter giving me the hand shake of passing and the fact that my secret weapon was with me. ....but i still left the building not feeling good about it.....For the next two days my thoughts were wrapped upon the rediculous question, the rythms i thiought i had interpreted right and the drug calculations i still ran in my mind....did i pass?

two days later, my hands shook as i logged in the website. My breathing became heavy and my heart pounded as the site loaded....was i really ready to pass this and move on? Did i need more training? questions like these raced through my mind as i waited. My secret weapon had always known better then me...even in the mists of failing my first time through the school by half a point..that had sucked but it had been the best thing for me..my secret weapon knew best and i had to rely upon that and that alone..........."everything was gonna be fine..no matter what." is what i kept telling myself....then it was there right infront of me ...the verdict..i read it a few times before i shouted through tears, with arms raised "I MADE IT!!!!! I PASSED!!!"

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

my secret weapon had worked and that was God! He had always been there for me, had never let me down...and He knew best..i knew if i failed it would be His will and in the end the best thing for me...all i had to do is trust Him!! He had called me to this and that is what i relied upon!!!! Trust is a hard thing...very hard..the hardest but the most rewarding when that trust is in God!!! If i had failed it would have been His will and i would have had to trust that..trust through failure is even harder...but when that trust is in the creator of the universe that failure is victory...for the will of God is victory. It was God's will for me to fail by half a point in school a year ago, because i failed things played out for me to go to the desert for internship with an amazing preceptor...God's will is the best!!!
His will was for me to pass this test and praise His name i did!!!!

Do you have a secret weapon? will it fail you? do you use your secret weapon for hard tests or for life too? I won't give up mine-so don't give up yours.....just make sure you have the right one :)

Praise the Lord!!!