a secret weapon

She had been studing hard and long! Days and days ever sense she recieved her testing date. Another from her class had gone before her and had made it..the hope of that same occomplishment nugged her heart that it was possible to do. She also had a secret weapon...
This secret had never failed her before, never let her down, and always worked toward the best for her. Everyone before her had had tricks, extra study guides, great study books that she did not posses at the moment but she decided to to bring her abilities, her knowledge, her passion for it and her secret weapon to the table. She locked her car up and with anxiouness and fear tugging on her stomache she walked to the front door. A tall brown haired young man was a few steps infront of her and walked through first. He was dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt. A sigh of relief fell on her as she was glad she wasn't the only one not dressed up. Her atire consisted of jeans, a checkard tank-top and a black sweatshirt. She follow the handsome man in and met him at the elivator. He walked in and she followed.
"third floor?' he asked eyeing my paper that i desperatly clutched.
"National registry?" i confirmed.
"Yup." he said pushing the buttom with a three printed on it. "What level?" he asked eyeing my paper again.
"Paramedic." i said witha sigh of tiredness. "you?"
"Emt." he answered nerviously
"I am just so ready to be done." i sighned. He agreeed witha knod. The elivator doors opened and we both disembarked.
"Where now?" i asked unsure of my barring.
"To the right." he pointed. I knew i was early so i decided to take a few last deep breaths in the bathroom. "good luck, i will see ya in there." i said turning to the bathroom.
"You too." was the last word i heard the handsome young man say. After i had left the bathroom i made my way through the glass doors. The next coupld of minutes were given over to rule astablishment , pictures taken, ids copied, and finger printed. I was then gieven a locker to keep my exceptence letter, keys, watch and bracelet in. I was told that if i walked into the testing room wearing my sweatshirt i would have to keep it on the whole time. Soon my name was called and i walked to the back where i was told of more rules and finger printed again. I was then told that i would be filmed during the whole test. After my id was checked again the door infront of me opened. I peared in to see many testing stations. I noticed students of all ages and was excited to see my handsome man at a near by testing station.
"ready?" the lady asked me. with a knod of my head i was escorted to a station. And with a word of "good luck" the lady left me and i faced the computer before me and clicked on the begin button.
The next two hours where full of cardiac rythm identification, drug caculations, trauma triage, MCI protocols, basic and advanced life support and wacked sanarios....i had no idea if i was gonna make it through...i heavly relied on my last year of classroom learning, my four and a half years experience as an emt, my precepter giving me the hand shake of passing and the fact that my secret weapon was with me. ....but i still left the building not feeling good about it.....For the next two days my thoughts were wrapped upon the rediculous question, the rythms i thiought i had interpreted right and the drug calculations i still ran in my mind....did i pass?

two days later, my hands shook as i logged in the website. My breathing became heavy and my heart pounded as the site loaded....was i really ready to pass this and move on? Did i need more training? questions like these raced through my mind as i waited. My secret weapon had always known better then me...even in the mists of failing my first time through the school by half a point..that had sucked but it had been the best thing for me..my secret weapon knew best and i had to rely upon that and that alone..........."everything was gonna be fine..no matter what." is what i kept telling myself....then it was there right infront of me ...the verdict..i read it a few times before i shouted through tears, with arms raised "I MADE IT!!!!! I PASSED!!!"

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

my secret weapon had worked and that was God! He had always been there for me, had never let me down...and He knew best..i knew if i failed it would be His will and in the end the best thing for me...all i had to do is trust Him!! He had called me to this and that is what i relied upon!!!! Trust is a hard thing...very hard..the hardest but the most rewarding when that trust is in God!!! If i had failed it would have been His will and i would have had to trust that..trust through failure is even harder...but when that trust is in the creator of the universe that failure is victory...for the will of God is victory. It was God's will for me to fail by half a point in school a year ago, because i failed things played out for me to go to the desert for internship with an amazing preceptor...God's will is the best!!!
His will was for me to pass this test and praise His name i did!!!!

Do you have a secret weapon? will it fail you? do you use your secret weapon for hard tests or for life too? I won't give up mine-so don't give up yours.....just make sure you have the right one :)

Praise the Lord!!!

"go get them, kid"

All 26 of them stood in a single file line infront of the door. Each one dressed in thier finest. some wore full suits, others black slacks, and a long sleeve white buttom up shirt with a tie, and one wore black pinstrip pants and a black top. No matter what they were wharing they were all there for the same purpose. excitment danced in thier eyes as they tried standing still. Some were reminising, some were laughing, some had already started celebrating prior and smelled of alcohol. Soon the doors opened and with a sigh of occomplishment all 26 of them walked through the doors and onto the stage, sitting in alphabetical order in the chairs alined on stage. The lights overhead blinded students to the faces in the back rows.
The ceremony started...
During the many speeches from the MC, the chairman, prinicple, teachers and their medical directer, the 26 students sat in relief that they had made it to this moment. Two of them chatted silently to each other about the people in the front rows and thier attire. Others gave each other nuckle punds during some of the speeches. Soon two of the students stood and addressed the autitorium. the class president convade some of the classes funny stories and some of the great moments. Then the only female student stepped to the mic and spoke of the class and the great guys she had been sitting with. Next came the awards...many of the students were granted awards for special achievments..then came the moment.
One by one each of the students were called by name to the podium and given an envelope. Each of them made contact either through hugs or hand shakes with the faculty, then took thier seat and clapped for thier counterparts. After the last student was called the enitre class rose and with a booming voice the MC annouced "congratulations, class 72!"...
These 26 people had been paramedic learners during thier classtime, paramedic students during ther clinical time, paramedic interns during thier field time...but they were now paramedic graduates as they rose and were applauded by friends, family, preceptors, co-workers, supervisors and chiefs. Thier hearts were full of thankfulness and excitment, thier minds full of relief and thier spirits ready to party. They had made it..how? Through long days in class, long nights pouring over thier books, long clinical shifts on thier feet and long field hours where they learned to connect all they had learned with the reality of the bleeding, screaming, panting or even dieing patient before them. But they had made it!
After applauses the graduates stepped from the stage and were welcomed by open arms of friends and family in congratulations!!! After the congrates some of the students made thier way to a bar and restuarant where they laughed, sang and even danced to thier victory.....but the begining had just stared these 26 graduates were on thier way to more tests, practicles, and ride outs to claimed thier state certs...
the thought of that next journey nugged my mind that night as i sat with them all celebrating....i had made it this far by the grace of God and i knew he would carry me the rest of the way-i was sure of that!!! I was excited to be now a graduate and done with this chapter of the paramedic life..but i was thankful and honored to be graduating and now celebrating with 25 of the greatest guys ever...people asked me how it was being the only girl in the class and going through all that with 25 guys?
Yeah there were ruff moments..but like i told the audience that night. " they took care of me and i wouldn't trade any of them. They are 25 of the most amazing guys ever."
congrates to class 72 and in the words of my preceptor "go get them kid"

"PRAISE GOD ...WE MADE IT!" -student of class 72